so how is everyone’s fursuits coming along
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Another thing that I hate is the idea that my identity isn’t “age appropriate” for children. Like, my mom described my girlfriend as “a friend of mine” to my 10 year old sister (who unbeknownst to my mom, knows that I am gay have a gf). That shit hurts! It’s really fucking hurtful that people I love think of my being gay as something that children “wouldn’t understand” and should therefore be shielded from. Surprise: children are generally uninterested in the particulars of adult dating/relationships. So if you tell them two people are together they will just take your word for it and not immediately launch into questions about gay sex. Incredible!
Seriously, dismantle the harmful misconception that same gender relationships are somehow more “adult” than different gender ones
One of my 11 year old campers came out as bisexual one night at camp. “Oh, yeah, I’ve known I like boys since I was nine,” he said. “It’s not big deal. Not like it was back in YOUR day.”
Another 12 year old camper came out as trans one night. All my kids immediately switched to using her chosen name as soon as she explained herself, and then went back to playing Magic.
Oh, yeah, this so freaking hard to explain.
Me, to my 9 and 12 year old boys: Your cousin Alicia is marrying her girlfriend, Alice.
My boys: Okay.
Me, when another cousin came out: Hey kids, go clean up your rooms. Josh and his new boyfriend, Jeremy are coming over.
Kids: But I don’t WANT to clean my room!
Me, when their bisexual cousin John proposed to his girlfriend: Hey kids, John and Jill are getting married.
Kids: Okay.
Kids: Mom, why doesn’t Sarah date?
Me: Because she doesn’t want to.
I’ll admit, the conversation about their friend’s dad becoming a woman was a more complex conversation, because it was a great opportunity to talk about gender and biology as separate things, but it ended with:
Hey kids, Katie’s dad, Carl, is now a woman, and she’s called “Charlotte.”
Kids: “Cool.”
It’s not that hard, people.
Seriously.
My daughter (age 13) Mum I’m a lesbian and I’m dating Katie.
My son (age 15) ok so I’m asexual and I’m non binary and I really need people to use the right pronouns.
Me: no worries **emails teachers to request they use the correct pronouns**
THIS IS NOT HARD PEOPLE JUST TREAT CHILDREN LIKE HUMAN PEOPLES THEY GET THIS SHIT AND UNDERSTAND IT BETTER THAN YOU DO.
Kids won’t even learn to act weird about this stuff unless adults model that for them. Using children who have no reason to even care as an excuse is several extra levels of messed up.
(See also: “Children are cruel!” Yeah, some of them learn fast. Especially when nasty behavior gets excused and encouraged.)
I tried to explain to a friend of mine who has never ever been poor in his life why it is that poverty is a cycle, and why it’s so difficult to escape poverty.
His response was, “just save money”. I kept trying to explain that when you are living paycheck to paycheck, there really is no saving money because most of your income is being spent on basic needs: food, shelter, clothing, transportation.
So, then he responded, “well, why can’t you just save $5 every week”. Well, a lot of poor people do try to save. I would manage to get a few hundred in my savings account, but then you get a flat tire, or you end up getting sick and missing a week of work, or you have an unexpected bill. And, that few hundred dollars suddenly disappears. I tried to explain to him that when you’re poor, unanticipated expenses can very quickly and easily blow through what little you have in your savings account and put you back at square one.
I also tried to explain that when you are that poor, you need to make purchases while you have the money. Like, if I needed a new pair of jeans and I had an extra $30 that week, I would buy myself a new pair of jeans that week because I didn’t know when I would have an extra $20 or $30 to spend. So, he countered that with, “You don’t need to buy clothes. You could have put that $30 in your savings.”
To which I responded, “Well, if it were socially acceptable to walk around without pants on, then maybe poor people could climb out of poverty, but until then, when your jeans have holes in them, or don’t fit you anymore, you need to get some new ones.”
Then it kind of clicked for him.. a little.
So, I went on to talk about the sociological aspects of poverty, like how growing up poor, or growing up as part of a marginalized demographic pushes your starting block 100 feet behind your peers.. how our educational systems are set up to fail impoverished children. The light bulb flickered, but never fully turned on.
And, then he said, “I still can’t believe you were ever on food stamps.”
Yes, my friend, poverty and I get a nice little reunion every few years. I know it intimately, which is why you should sit back, relax, and just listen.
I never understood how it was so difficult to see the realities of poverty. To me, it is sort of common sense. And, what is irksome is that poverty doesn’t always present itself as an old beat up car, and falling apart sneakers. People who grow up middle class and financially secure seem to think that poverty looks a lot like dirty children with dirty clothes, and no shoes. But, it doesn’t. It can be that, but it’s often not.
I grew up in a nice house in the suburbs, but we were poor. We were very poor for a long time, in part due to my medical issues. People assume that because we went to Catholic school, and had a nice house that we were well-off. We weren’t. My mother worked 2-3 jobs, and my parents took out loans to pay for our school tuition. My mother’s parents helped pay for some of our education, even though they were also incredibly poor. My parents sometimes struggled to put food on the table.
I never had clothes that were dirty or falling apart, but most of my clothes and shoes were hand-me-downs from my older cousins. In fact, a lot of my toys were, too.
Both of my parents grew up in poverty. My father, especially, grew up in complete and abject poverty. Their parents grew up in poverty, and so did their parents. My parents made immense sacrifices to set us up for financial success, but life always finds a way to intervene.
Personally, my health issues have been the driving factor behind my own financial issues. I have amassed thousands of dollars in medical debt. I work a job that doesn’t use my degree at all because I can work part time and still get benefits, and because I know I won’t get fired if I need to take extended absences due to my health.
So, when you say, “I still can’t believe you were ever on food stamps,” you are really saying, “I have this picture in my head of what poverty looks like, and you don’t fit that image.”
That idea we have about what poverty is supposed to look like is a big reason why people in the middle class are so content with cutting safety net programs, even though they are one medical problem, one car accident, or one lay-off away from complete financial ruin. What does poverty look like, then. How do you “just save money”, then.
poverty in the developed world doesn’t look like a refugee child with flies on their face.
it looks like a normal person in normal clothes, in a normal apartment, with their bills spread out on the kitchen table, crying.
That last sentence, bruh
my thighs r thick cos theyre full of love
Mine are full of cheese and crackers
White privilege is your history being taught as a core class and mine being taught as an elective.
me flirting
Guy: Wow you know video games? Wanna come round mine so I can teach you how to play skyrim ;)
me: ok but im already a level 41 so your assistance isn’t necessary
why are some people’s sketchbooks so prefect and pretty like mine is literally like an unfinished drawing here, a badly drawn circle, a cookie crumb ??, a drawing of what, communism? and what the fuck is on tHIS page
my 4-year-old niece is in that “splattering colors all over the paper” stage of making art. i showed her a piece by Jackson Pollock and told her “this person is really famous, and he made art kind of like you!” but she just looked disinterested and told me “mine has prettier colors.” get wrecked, Jackson Pollock
Black ppl don’t have to do a mother fuckin thing but be black. How the fuck can we change/end racism that’s on u bitch. you blame the victim and not the culprit?? fuck you! I don’t have to be nice or extend a hand or watch what I say or change what I wear to help u be a better human being. Kiss all the melanin on my round black ass. ur heart beats the same as mine bitch.
Exactly.
vinebox